July 4th. My own history.

So getting right to the point since I know we all have fireworks to set off still, family to enjoy, a bedtime cause we have to wake up early for work (FML) – today marks a very special day (in case you are joining in at a later time I’m talking about July 4th, 2018) and I will tell you why:

Today marks:

* The 10th published post here at TheeMilkBarr (audience cheers) WOOHOO! Thank you for sharing my posts and engaging with me. Thank you for spending 10 great Wednesdays with me and for the constant feedback, love and support. I have had a pleasure of getting to know great men and women through this blog journey and the pleasure of collaborating with them. Happy 10th post MilkBarr! No worries my dear friends after my breastfeeding journey has dried up I hope you will join me in some…oh I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise so stick around.

Photo Creds: #VanityKrystal on IG

* My engagement- Mr. Ben and I have been engaged for 2 years now. I always said I wanted to have one last memory with my dad. My soon or not soon to be #HusBen (dammit Lizz, I love that hash tag. If you all have not checked her out with her flawless lipstick magic, you’re truly missing out. I haven’t gotten myself a stick just yet but soon enough I will!) was amazing enough to think hmmm dads birthday (check), proposal cause I want to spend the rest of my not cool life with this incredible human by the name of Cin (check), put that together on the same day equals one last memory. BOOM. Benny had all my close gals get together at my brothers house and had everyone get together for a picture. Everyone came in, he got down on one knee and before I knew it the wine buzz wore off and I was crying with a sparkling ring on mah fanger (pokes hand out to show it off).

* My dads birthday. As you all may or may not know in 16 and Pregnant I mentioned my dad no longer being around. The 10 year anniversary of my dads passing is on the 25th of this month & what better time to publish my 10th post than on his 10th birthday in the sky. I wanted to share a few things about el papa bear of mine and I asked my sister to help me out. We could barely hold back the tears as we went down memory lane but here it is. Too short, sweet, and to the point:

*Rafael was born on July 4th, 1934 in Santiago, Dominican Republic and was 1 out of 14 kids in his family (CHRIST).His mom lived to be 103 and I remember he had an antique like photo of her on her 100th birthday. She was sitting up, smiling and every time I saw it I would think to myself “she has to be a super human cause to live to be a 100? Sheesh!” So at that point I thought my dad was one too, which turned out to be true. He studied up to the 3rd grade and didn’t know how to read or write yet succeeded more than a lot of us who have more than a 3rd grade education. He was fluent in Spanish and could barely talk English. In his 30s he arrived to Queens, NY (how? On a spaceship. Beats me, this man made moves that’s all I know!) and then moved to the Bronx where he met my beauty queen of a mother, bought a building, a bodega and had a beautiful family which included yours truly. He made a living by renting out apartments, fixing plumbing, painting and all that Jazz. He was humble, very funny (now y’all see where I get it from) and had a great heart. He would tell me stories of how my brothers and I were when we were babies or how he almost got mugged in NY but scared the guys off (well that escalated quickly). When my mom would come home yelling at us cause the house was a mess, he would stand behind her and make faces. Obviously we would laugh and my mom would get so mad. I find myself doing this with Benny lol. I remember countless hours of running around the house, he would fall trying to catch us and still get back up to chase us again. We would cry laughing. I still do thinking about it. I remember coming home to him watching Tom and Jerry and just hysterically laugh so loud that it made us laugh too. My dad loved the simple things in life. I remember asking him what he wanted for his birthday one year and he told me a red shirt. That’s it. He always wore his NY police cap and a button up. He knew what it was to live in the present moment. He would sit at the table and eat his cassava or soup and just take his time. Enjoying every bite. I literally have to push my food down my throat cause I am always in a hurry. My dad? Never. Everything else could wait. He rushed for no one or nothing. For my birthday he would buy me teddy bears and cards that were covered in plastic and when you would open them they would play a soft tune. My very first (and last) hair brush was given to me by him and it holds so much value that I literally get anxiety when I can’t find it and every day I use it I get a beautiful flash of his face. July 25th, 2008 he passed away from diabetes. I remember going in the room and I repeatedly said “I’m sorry” and he stared at me, told me not to apologize and not to worry. Everything will be okay. He was an amazing man and the true definition of a father. No matter how far we were, his children were a priority and he made sure to show up daily or every other day to bring us food, pick us up or just to show up and say hello. I look back on all that he did and said when I was a young, ungrateful teenager and realize how much he has taught me. I’m thankful for all the life lessons that I will now get to share and pass on to my kids. I talk about him so much to Aiden that it’s almost like Aiden personally knows him. I never want to forget his voice, his face, and his love. I want to hold on till I can’t anymore. I want to continue to dream about him even when I wake up in tears. I want to keep asking my siblings and my mom about him because the stories still amaze me. Even the repeated ones. I could go on and on about him but I’ll save some stories for another day. #ProudToBeATavarez – cheers papi!

So this has been and continues to be a great day for me. I hope you all have had a safe but fun 4th of July this year. If you are drinking please don’t drive and if you are driving right now-STOP READING AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD! Enjoy the beautiful fireworks with wonderful company (even if that wonderful company is yourself). If you have to work tomorrow, I feel your pain. Thanks for joining me this evening and well, goodnight #MilkBarrFam.

Happy 4th of July ❤️🥛💙

*Photo Creds for featured image of sparkler: Cristian Escobar on UNSPLASH.com

13 thoughts on “July 4th. My own history.

  1. Lizz pope says:

    10th post and feeling fabulous.
    What a wonderful human to have been raised by.
    Thank you for the shout out babe.
    I want to let you know that I’ll be thinking of you when MY #HusBen (who happens to be a dedicated scientist up here at Harvard) cures diabetes. I’ll think of you and thus wonderful man that raised you.
    Of course I’m projecting/dreaming that my HusBen will find the cure, let’s all say a prayer for it to be soon. But it is interesting how our stories have such overlaps. ❤
    Lipstick loving Babes pop on over to senegence.com/GirlMeetsLipstick for the fun.
    We better get you some before your bug day cin! ❤
    Lizz

  2. seedsinthewasteland says:

    I love this! What a great story. Your dad sounds like a truly great guy and brilliant father. I’m sorry he’s no longer with you, but very glad you have these memories and can share his story 💚

  3. Jacquelyn Fonseca says:

    Your dad sounds like he was an awesome father. I love reading this as I imagine him wearing his NY hat and a button up. I’m sure he would be so proud of you guys all. ❤

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