My nephews. Rafael Jr. & Henry Jr.
Rafael on the left: Did she just say HATE?
Henry on the left: uh yeah. Yeah she sure did.
OH SNAP look who finally posted early again! If you’re all joining us now, my last two posts were released around 11ish (PM). One actually worked out that way and the other -well…all I can say is (shrugs shoulders) it’s life. Lately it’s been one hell of a roller coaster but really, when is parenthood not? We all know that once the kids are put to bed it’s so much easier to get things done. Realistically though how many of us have the energy once they’re asleep to do anything? Once Sebastian falls asleep at 9pm I am ready to drop down right next to him. Parenthood is the realest “hood” I’ve ever had to walk through. I. Am. Beat!
Now, when I say I HATE these things about motherhood- just know I don’t hate my kids lol. Some of ya’ll take it a bit overboard. I say this word HATE with love if you can understand that. I’m sure you can. If you can’t then try and if you can’t try..then what the hell?
Oh and I lied. The title should be “6 Things I hate about Motherhood” but I felt like that was such an odd number (it’s an even number though) to place in a title so cut me some slack. One more thing to read right? That’s alright. You’re already here and look, during normal people time too!
Oh what big ears you have!
Kids are sponges. They will listen to EVERYTHING you say and as soon as one curse word drops out of 5,000 other words, their radars go off and they say that ONE curse word that accidentally (is it? Is it accidentally?) slipped out. Why? OUT OF ALL THE WORDS I HAVE SAID. REALLY? How about when you’re gossiping and they hear a piece of juicy info and repeat it at the wrong dang time. It takes a million times of repeating yourself to teach them something of good use and knowledge but one slip up of the wrong thing and it sticks like glue. Let’s be honest, we are not perfect (surprise!) even if it isn’t cursing, it could be anything – the frustrating truth of those precious little ears. It’s difficult minding your words. I mean, it is for me. Am I working on it? Sure I am but I can’t say I’ve gotten far. I’m just being honest BUT I am working on it.
You can’t be their friend.
No new friends and this includes my kid? Apparently yes. My son is starting middle school in August. Up to this point, I’ve noticed when I’m the “cool/more like your friend” mom Aiden will act a bit more out of control. Small forms of disrespect are coming forth and until I get back to my serious ways is it then when he gets back inline. Maybe since I am a young mama, I don’t understand too much of this one and so I can’t really speak off of too much experience but when I asked several of my of my older mom friends with kids in middle school and high school – they all agreed that this one is a huge one. It can be a thin line for parents. I hate that. I wish I could be your bestest friend in the entire world and yes, perhaps you can in some way but majority of the time if you treat them as your equal or lay your friendship card out, it doesn’t go too well. As it goes for everything though – it works for some and doesn’t for others. We can take this topic in all types of directions – which we will in a future post collaboration (Spoiler Alert!)
You hurt, I hurt.
My heart will break for you. I go through enough emotional hurricanes all on my own. Now we have to see our little ones go through it too? You know damn right it doesn’t just hurt them. It consumes us too and how hard is that? How about when it is something you have gone through and you see them going down that road too? No matter what you say, they will make their own decisions and have to bump their head just like we did. My Attorney quoted Otto Von Bismarck who said ““Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. The wise man learns from the mistakes of others.” – but I mean come on, how often does this happen? It’s not till we are older and/or have kids do we think this way. So let us pour our glasses of wine from now as we watch our children explore the world of life lessons in hopes that all we have shown them, spoke to them about and shared with them are enough for them to utilize on a successful path. Even if it seems like Déjà vu, well played karma. Well played.
Every night before bed I will have this guilt of “I could’ve done better today”. I hate that I feel this way almost every day even when I think I’ve done relatively well! Did I hug them enough? Did I set a good example? Am I providing a great menu of eating options for them? More than often we question our parenting. We get down on ourselves. Then there are those short lived feelings on not so many nights when we go to sleep feeling ourselves. We feel like we are the greatest and have done an amazing job for what we have to work with. Those are the feelings we should embrace more. We are not perfect (surprise again!) but damn we do a great job! In the words of my fab friend Joyce – We are f***ing crushing it moms! Even from things that we have no control over, we try and figure out a way and if there is no way, we still fall with guilt like it’s our fault. It is never enough. Give yourself some credit. Maybe a credit card?
Okay can we be serious for a moment? Can someone, ANYONE tell me. Where the hell. Does. The. Other.Sock.Go.
Where? This is not just parenthood. Just in General. Where is the other sock? Aside from the runaway sock, the laundry is TOO much for me sometimes (all the time).Sebastian is only 5 months, he is the youngest in the house and his laundry load alone is overwhelming. Aiden wears a shirt and takes it off 5 minutes later, guess where that shirt goes? If you said to the floor, then to the hamper after I yell at him – you got it!
They grow up.
I would always hear “your kids are never really yours”. They will always be your kids but what about when they move out? Married? Have their kids? You know, when they grow up. Can’t they just stay small forever? I hate that no matter how old they are I will always see my little 1, 5, 10 year old. I hate that I get frustrated over homework and take it out on you instead of just trying to be patient and helpful cause one day you won’t need me to help you on homework anymore. I hate how exhausted I am from work or lifes daily boxing match that I fail to leave at the door and take it out on you. I hate how I check my phone and when I look up you look different but no, it’s just that I never really get the chance to really look at you cause I’m so busy trying to clean up the house, cook then bed to get right back up for work and they don’t stop growing up for you to catch up. A bittersweet reminder to not only you readers but to myself. I read a quote one time that just hit a home run for me “We spend too much time worrying and complaining about the things that do not matter. We complain about their rooms being dirty and messy but wait till we see it empty.” – Read that again.
Good luck & keep crushing it mom and dads. I bet you thought this post would be dark?! You should know me by now and if you don’t click here! Now, I won’t ask you what you HATE about parenthood cause I know it’s a pretty tough word buuut it’s just us in here – let me hear it!
28 thoughts on “5 things I hate about motherhood.”
Pretty much the same things, though I’d probably devote the entire list to separate housework items. I hate the cleaning so much… 🙂
I LOVE this. Your point of “you can’t be their friend” in particular really hits home with me. My oldest is a great kid, but his dad and I have been split up since he was a month old. So for going on nine years, I’ve played bad cop and he’s gotten to be “fun-dad-who-is-more-like-an-uncle-than-a-dad”. Gabe doesn’t understand why I’m so hard on him but his dad is totally cool with anything. Makes life interesting, for sure, but I’m not backing down.
Great article. I love how you’ve incorporated humor with reality. Looking forward to more posts!