All photography credits: Yours Truly.
Disclaimer: After you read the first sentence don’t be so quick to throw your stones.
I am done with blogging.
Those were my words after coming home to a dirty house, dishes piled up, missed the gym and the boys were lining up to be fed. I forget that after I leave my 8am-5pm as an Attorney Secretary I go home and clock in as a therapist, chef, Consuela cleaning maid, lover, momma bear who cries out for her own momma and a blogger.
The load gets heavy for me too ya know.
I disconnected from the blogosphere last week and I did it because I needed to prove something to myself. Something along the lines of regaining control over my time and my life. Sounds pretty crazy right? Crazy enough it’s so real. I used to have the time to blog and read while I was breastfeeding/pumping but now the feeding schedule has changed and with work in the mix- I can go hours without pumping so that leaves me with:
A. No time
B. No time
C. All the above.
Look, I too am working on getting up earlier and working on my goals (Dammit Rachel Hollis, I’m trying!) but cut me some slack. That sh** is HARD especially when the baby feels like sleep is for the birds if you get what I’m saying.
Life has tossed and turned me lately. Much like it does to um, let’s see, EVERYONE. So my time had come around for things to shake up a bit since you know, too much happiness brings some madness. During this time I tried to keep up with my usual activities, blogging being one of them but the problem with me is I don’t know when to stop or prioritize. Say I have 10 tasks to attack and you add another 5 unexpected task to that list – I try and juggle them all whether they are important or not, beat myself up and turn into the hulk. I overload myself and it is part of the “Transformation to living my best life” project that I am currently working on. Out of all the things I could cut back on or worry about later I picked blogging last week.
Blogging; as much as it’s a hoot and all, it began to stress me out which is exactly what I didn’t want so I did a thing. I disconnected and guess what? Take a guess.
Take another guess.
If you guessed “It was a hard week without #TMB but I survived and I’m still a supporter” then you’re absolutely right.
You survived and showed up, I survived and showed up and most importantly – It is okay. I needed to know that. It’s okay to miss a post or two (whoa!!! Simmer down now!), it’s okay to not be on time all the time (referencing to the blog of course, I can’t be held accountable for your use of that phrase in the outside realm) and it’s okay to think of myself.
So I treated myself. For the first time I took a step back and said I need to think of myself (Myself? Who dat?) and slow my role.
I’m sure we all have heard the phrase “Treat yo’ self” and it’s said exactly like that with “yo” in place of “your”. If not, you’re totally saying it wrong. Treating yo’ self can mean a lot of things. It could mean:
Taking time out for yourself and yourself ONLY.
Shopping for yourself.
A spa day for yourself.
Doing your nails, toes and hair.
Eating dinner by yourself.
Just grabbing a glass of wine and hanging out Thursdays with your new fave tribe #GirlsGoneWine on #Youtube and if you’re totally lost, click HERE.
Whatever it may be to your level of liking. My way of treating myself is having time alone and just disconnecting. I look forward to alone time and I NEED it. Giving myself alone time is such a treat because do you know how hard it is to have that? No, all jokes aside, do you know. How hard. It is?!?! I usually like to troll around town and find water. No not like a bird bath or rain puddle, and not like a bottle of water. I mean more in the sense of a beach or lakefront. Once in a blood moon (which we recently just had so I’m guilty) I’ll go on a shopping rampage and sure it feels great but then I go home, kick my own ass, bill collectors laugh at me and my fiancé is pissed off so that does me no good but give me a short lived high.
Anyway, this is my gift to myself because it’s unbelievably hard for us women to just give ourselves a pat on the back and say “that’s it for the day.” and relax. I will also:
go on a nice walk
sit at a quiet cafe, read and recharge.
Go to the gym
Take off from work, send the kids to the sitter & school, hubby is working- the house is allllll mine.
These are all low maintenance ideas that do me justice and I do them all by myself because (I’m a big girl!) my time to spend alone has been so important especially now. Give yourself that time to reflect and reconnect. Like I said above, IT’S OKAY! It’s okay to:
A. Put yourself first.
B. To disconnect from everything and everyone. Mommies, yes you too. Even if it’s an hour a day.
C. Not blog – which for me was hard because I dedicated my Wednesdays to a new post and I actually do enjoy it. I dedicated my pumping and breastfeeding time to everything about blogging. I dedicated all my free time to building ideas and journaling for my blog. It started to become stressful and a task rather than my vent time, my relax time, my ME time. I know all my bloggers feel me. So I didn’t do it last week because the time that I would usually spend on my entry, I spent recharging with no worries.
To all my fellow moms cringing at the thought of leaving their kids with family or a close friend, I feel your pain but trust me. Not only do you need it but you deserve it. Kids or not, you need time to yourself. When your mental game is weak, which will happen because we are humans (says the one who turns into the hulk for not being able to complete 5,600 tasks in an hour) find your way of recharging. IT IS OKAY TO RECHARGE. Find what makes you feel at ease with no stress and push the TO DO list to the side for a day (or forever, look I don’t judge). Whether it’s taking off an extra day from work just to sit and binge a TV show, read, sleep in, go to the beach or in my case; not blog because I get mentally drained from all the social media and technology – find your way out. We all need it.
Now, I AM NOT DONE WITH BLOGGING. The title is called Disconnect Yo’Self but did you not read the subtitle??? Shame on you! (Yes, please retrace your steps and read that small subtitle).
On another note, I hope these photos serve its purpose. I hope you feel just as calm and relaxed as I did when I was there. They all hold wonderful memories, it’s my favorite place to be and I can remember what I was thinking in each of these photos.
I was thinking about myself.
You may have 101 things to do right after you leave me now but I hope these pictures remind you of time you felt at peace, just drop everything for a moment and take a breather. It’s seriously okay.
I like to sit by the water because the waves speak a different language to me. It roars loud but I’m comfortable. It’s constantly refreshed and open to listen. Every time I give my time it’s never taken for granted.
Sometimes we match. We can be calm. We can be rough. Sometimes we don’t know and that’s okay.
She was never on the same page as the people around her. Sometimes ahead, sometimes behind, always in a different chapter, sometimes even in a completely different book. – MHA